I was thinking about the finality of it all - how somebody can leave your world in the blink of an eye and be gone forever.  It's too enormous to think about.  It's too hard  And then you're just supposed to go one, right, like just deal with it.  I mean, really, you're only supposed to be sad for as long as the flowers last and then, oh, time to go back to telling jokes and reminiscing about the old days.